Missouri Loves Company

It’s been a minute since I wrote one of these, so I guess now is as good a time as any to reference one of my favorite adages: Writer’s block is a convenient excuse to stop writing, so start writing, you nincompoop.

Okay, so maybe that isn’t an actual adage and is instead just something to put as the opener to this piece to allow me to easily transition to this: Feeling uninspired is the absolute devil, and that’s the state (Ha!) I’ve been in for the last month. I know I *should* write 700 or so words about a state I may or may not have been to, but I just didn’t want to. Why? I don’t know. Let’s just blame February, objectively the worst month. February is cold and bleak, so even if I could go outside, I wouldn’t want to. We are usually beset with snow, which often means a gray sky when the sun isn’t out and blinding whiteness when the sun is out. It’s lose-lose. But mercifully, it’s only 28 days. And not for nothing, if we ever invented one of those flu medicines that lets you sleep through the entire month, I volunteer myself as tribute.

At any rate, here we are! It’s March, and for the sake of alliteration, it’s Missouri, otherwise known as: “The state that for whatever reason is where they keep Kansas City,” which is the topic of today’s post.

It’s one of the more interesting geographical peculiarities, similar to the New York Giants playing their home games in New Jersey, or the New York Mets not playing their home games in a literal pile of trash.

But there is a good, sound reason for why Kansas City is found in Missouri, and it has to do with the Kansas River, which sits adjacent to what we know as Kansas City, MO. The town of Kansas City, taking its name from the Kansas River — or Kaw River, named after the Kansa Indians — was incorporated prior to Kansas becoming a state. The state of Kansas, also named after the river, has its own Kansas City, which shares the border with Missouri, forming a sort of super-city that is in fact two separate entities. So while there is a Kansas City in Kansas, it’s usually not the one you’d be referring to, as both the Kansas City Chiefs and the Kansas City Royals play their home games in Missouri’s Kansas City, while Kansas’ Kansas City is birthplace to scores of people who at one time in their life had to say “No, the other Kansas City.” Tough break.

As far as states go, Missouri has one of the more interesting outlines. The north border, as well as most of the west and south, are straight shots, with very little funny business occurring until right near the end. It’s neat and simple and not too hard to shape on a bandsaw. The eastern border, however, more than compensates for this by having a bit of a jagged border, notably formed by Mississippi River along the south east. Can’t make it too easy.

Although, if Missouri is any indication, the states farther out west are a lot easier to carve, given their size, as well as their fondness for straight lines. The four corners states (Utah, Colorado, Arizona, and New Mexico) offer some much needed relief compared to the chaotic and seemingly random shape of the states found on the east coast. Sure, the sun rises on this coast and sporting events and primetime television mostly accommodate us, but we’re also a lot of states crammed into this small little slice of the continent. It’s like they weren’t even thinking about me when they drew the borders two hundred years ago. Some nerve.

Anyway, sorry to everyone who has been waiting with bated breath for this latest installment. I’ll be sure to send all six of you a handwritten note.

Until next time.